Up jumped the Devil

Welly welly welly welly welly well, I’m ecstatic to learn that AT LEAST three people actually read my first ever venture into the infinite universe of blogging. I’m actually considering changing the name of my blog from the current clockwork orange inspired My Bloggy Wog to something closer resembling the writings of the twats behind some of our more widespread monotheistic doctrines. Sirenism does have a nice ring to it and I think my flamboyant personality might at least conger up some kind of a spiritual connection between some of the less fortunate, intelligencewise, amongst us here on the planet of Sirenia. Unfortunately the sirens and sirenism already resonates with somewhat of a differently “meaning” amongst people with interest and knowledge about Greek mythology. If only my name was Ariel! I could have been a maverick, changed the world with the help of my jet-red, mysterious and not to mention sexually enticing hair! Jesus was the bearded man of the past and I would be the ginger vixen of the future!!

Anyway, I am truly happy that people are taking an interest in the ramblings of a mad woman. It is truly heart-warming and it proves to me the eternal truth of any religion: It’s not the size of congregation, it’s the motion of the devotion.

You’ll be happy to learn that you’re already becoming somewhat of an online psychiatrist in the sense that I can pour my heart out to you and you might choose to listen if you are thus inclined. But then again you become superior to the average shrink/quack/dandified drug dealer because you don’t have to pretend to scribble down anything on the lustrous pad one might find resting on a “doctors” lap and you need never give me any constructive feedback… (As you might notice, everything I know about psychiatry is rudely stolen from American television)

Sadly, at this point I have completely forgotten what I set out to write about, but worry not my little sexoid. I shall use the immense power of my intellect to stare blankly at my screen.

HOLY CRAP ON A CRACKER, someone just did the stomp-your-feet-angrily-on-the-floor-to-shut-your-loud-downstairs-neighbour-up bit. I say bit, but I really mean terrifying soundtheater of Asmodai. I fully understand that I can be charmingly annoying to be around, IN PERSON, but I try not to annoy faceless neighbours through walls and roofs… The chances might be slim of me ever having to confer with them about matters of importance, but still, I enjoy the polite greetings of a neighbour!

It's me! (Look at me go, blogging away like some crazed bloggin' lunitic)

I must now leave you in the very capable hands of yourselves. Read, enjoy, wank off to, whatever your heart desires and please comment. Comment constructively, deconstructively, lovingly, demonstratively, anonymously, flamboyantly, just for a laugh or post a photo of yourself flipping me off if you want to, my blog is your playground!

Sampai Jumpa and eternal bliss to you all

Siren

Welcome to my Bloggy Wog

Hello all you impossible beauts hopefully reading this at some point!

This is my first step into the bloggiverse; therefore I shall humour you with some intriguing information about me as a blogger. I've set the tone for scribbling with the soothing tones of Shogu Tokumaru on Winamp (some may mock me for using this, but I kick it old school, HA!). I have placed a lovely piece of Gøteborg Rapé in the left side of my upper lip and as the clock strikes 03:21am I feel ready to write instead of popping the cork of the ever inviting bottle of Portuguese tinto in the corner of my eye and the.. everywhere.. Of my evermore alcoholic mind.

I am a 21year old citizen of this depressing and amazing world we all would live in wasn't it for LSD. My uncle gave me the immensely fitting name Siren quite a few months after I was born because my mother wanted to name me Ariel. If that wasn't explanation enough there was also launched a brand of washing powder by the name Ariel at that time and to them that meant I would be teased immensely whilst growing up... Little did they know that I would be 175cm tall and weigh about as much as a cottonball from the age of 10...

Enough self-deprecating walk-down-memory-lain-ing. I was born in Bergen, Norway to a family of Jehovah’s Witnesses whom I soon pissed off by listening to Marilyn Manson and dressing like an underage gothic prostitute. Soon however they gave up on trying to change me and began to have a slight feeling of pride when I got shockingly good grades in school and took an interest in my theatrical ways. When I was sixteen I moved to Concordia, Missouri, did some high school and a lot of drugs... I kicked this drug habit in Alaska where I briefly ventured into crystal meth, which resulted in unfounded paranoia towards weed and a number other wonderful drugs.

After completing high school I took a year off to work. This resulted in theaterwork, depression and a newfound addiction to shopping. After a horribly monotonous year of working, drinking and the like I moved to Denmark and attended a theatre school.

Now I live in Oslo, where I study aesthetics at the university of Oslo and live in the smallest apartment ever made. You will be shocked to know that I can cook my dinner, have a shit and answer the door at the same time. This is very practical, but it does repel the general public from venturing anywhere close to my apartment. The reason for this lucrative living situation is earlier events of living with some fucking anal types and not handling this very well...
Anyway, you'll be glad to know that an experiment is on the way as to whether its possible to answer the door whilst cooking my noodles, having a bowel movement and blogging at the same time! I can feel the beaming excitement in you dear reader.

Well, I hope this has been a learning experience into the life of...me. I hope to be blogging about everything interesting in the world, like everything really.. hopefully less dull dribble concerning myself and more exciting immensely interesting dribble about arts, fashion, current events and everything else I might think of!

I hope to see you soon, but now it is time for the depressing read-through and repairing off the millions of spelling mistakes in this, my first blogg!

Shalom and love to the world

Siren