Ode to the compliment

How does one know what compliment to shun as masochistic jargon and which to devour favourably without thought of ones future health like an obese gentlemen gobbling down a heart stopping cheeseburger?

During my years at the Roskilde Music Festival the felicitation of my appearance that stuck with me with the most exuberant consistency was a Danish lad saying: "I love your legs!" loudly and considerably out of the blue. The best compliments usually do erupt out of thin bluish air towards the incidentally transient bypasser I sometimes have the honour of being. I have also had the pleasure of a 50 year old man approaching me and saying: "Don't take this as a sexual advance, I am happily married with children of all ages, but you are one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen." These are the things that keep you going; the impromptu greetings of a flattering nature. I try to reciprocate or "do to others what you want done to you" as best I can, but sadly it is usually construed as poorly covered sarcasm or a sexual advance, which it usually is not. My sexual advances are mostly drunken, blurred stutters concerning the infinite beauty I see in the person I want to undress and doink. And sadly, it usually works...

All "compliments" are however not meant as compliments as such, but moreover an ill-conceived mating call: "Hey sexy," "nice"(I heard that one whilst running towards the tram today), "You got some booty on you giiiirl" (heard that one said in the US after gaining 12 kg by some lovely black gentlemen) I believe they know there is no chance of coitus just by saying these things and that the reasoning behind these blurbs of masochistic loveliness is that they see inconceivable beauty and must instantly acknowledge its presence or it will disappear forever!

Hare Krishna my lovelies

Siren (I'm really getting the hang of writing shorter posts!)