I finally won one!

After an immensely mind-nurturing trip to London I found myself compelled to sojourn in the home of my parents life-long hobnobbers the Hansens in Lillehammer. Not thoroughly thought through since I didn't realise I would be stuck in a minuscule town, friendless and with no chance of face to face conversation with anyone outside the Jehovah's Witnesses. It was me and six pure blooded Arian bible-humpersn (two of them my parents). It was a cataclysm of (ironically) biblical proportions. The worst discussion ended in five people trying to keep the peace whilst I, on the verge of tears, tried to stop the "leader" from reciprocating every logical argument I launched into the religiously tainted air with the "brilliant" reproach: the reason your not one of us is that you don't understand how to believe.. Needless to say, I was not overly convinced by this conclusion when asking why God would create an angel with the capability of morphing into the not altogether pleasant Satan, then let him trick us silly little humans and finally punish us for this dreadful act of human nature indefinitely even though we never even got to choose to be created. Preposterous! And why do we have to spend a lifetime making up for his mistakes whilst he watches us and his own son suffer. Its almost like chucking a helpless child into a treacherously wooded garden and watching it helplessly blundering about an unfamiliar place until its death through a window. It was somewhat my own mistake to start a discussion... The man had already refused that tanning-beds have any, and I mean ANY nefarious effects on the human skin. He was adamant that what he had heard was absolute truth, even though he doesn't even use tanning-beds...

This, however unpleasant, is irrelevant. I was outnumbered but not without resolution. My mother is sixty years old and from a lower working-class family. The kind of family that got its first radio long after the television would be in most homes and remembers that first chocolate they shared. She truly believes that vegetarianism is ungratefulness and a trend similar to homosexuality...

Me and Randi (the loveliest and youngest bible-humper of the bunch and understanding of my vegetarianism) decide whip up a delicious pizza. I went to the shop and got some lovely veggies for my side of the pizza and made a renaissance work of art in the world of veggie-pizzas. Randi cut the pizza and warned me while doing so that I should watch out for stray meat-bits on my side... Out of nowhere my mum barks at me like a rabid chihuahua: AAARHHH, what is the big deal? Don't make such a fuss, it's not like you're allergic to a little bit of meat!

I sat a few seconds in stunned silence whilst the other loonies peeped in with her against my delusion until a light bulb suddenly shone above my head with blinding light against my opponents as I answered: as a Jehovah's Witness I seem to remember that you refuse blood transfusions, under ANY circumstances; are you allergic to blood?
They did not retort, it was an awkward supper for everyone except me jubilantly gloating in my corner...

Hare Krishna

Siren