LAMEOGRAPHY

If this isn't inspired by the Monty Python's Flying Circus sketch Ministry of Silly Walks, I will eat several of my hats! And also, I approve. This is what I do in Athens when the weather is uncomfortably close to Norwegian and all public transport is on strike.. Look at EVERYTHING on the interwebs!

Travel tip: Don't go to Athens if you want to shop. It is like peddling in hummus through an endless sea of UGGs and Ed Hardy. Even ZARA and MANGO are broken here. I thought I would enjoy some take-advantage-of-your-crisis shopping today and all I found where shops, like the ones in Oslo, only with worse clothes. Even H&M was fashion-nonsense of disastrous proportions. Modern thinking and creator of democracy, yes. Historical, architectural and cultural magnificence, YES. One of the most picturesque cities I have ever been in, yes. But for some reason, people here dress like working-class Lithuanian hair-dressers from the mid 90s.

I tried going to the trendiest and indiest neighborhoods Gazi and Phyrri, but all their merchandise was horrible 80s vintage and the same LOMOGRAPHY non-sense as Grünerløkka.

I did however meet a impressively facial-haired male model who called himself Holy and had a pop-up vintage concept called Holy Mustache. I'm thinking of marrying him. I think he's gay, but as most gay men in Greece are closeted (!!), I'm assuming it will not be a problem.

Lastly, I choose to wear a short dress today. I shouldn't have. It got to the point of whistling and yelling of Greek things in my direction that I was afraid of being assaulted if I attempted to eat the banana I had in my canvas bag.. I have a new and fundamental respect for Greek women! Their integrity and openness does not waver even after facing a lifetime of these horny man-puppies. Has the hair bleaching that seems to be so popular here, even though it turns everyones hair orange, given them super-obnoxious-man-comment-repelling-powers?

HUZZAH

I'm off to cuddle a stray kitten!

Where's blond Siren?

I think I've had what the tweens are calling "bloggers block" lately. I'm sorry to the twelve or so people who seem to read this thing. I'm also under the growing impression that blogging is for a younger crowd of exhibitionist youths whom have perfected the art of the "fish-lips" in photos taken by themselves or boyfriends (gay, but won't admit it yet).

But, I digress. I find that I impress myself with my ability to digress before I've started writing an actual post. I think this is an ominous trend if I hope to one day become an author of works not exclusively read online, by my friends. The stream of consciousness writing has been done before, and done quite well..

I found some pictures of myself saved on my user in the University of Oslo computer system. I don't remember saving them or where I found them, but I'm blond and wearing a gold mask, so who cares. They are hilarious in a serial-killer sort of way. If there where children in the audience at Mote med Mening 2011 I can only assume we've scared them away from a life of fashion with this display of nightmare aesthetics. Not to mention the horrifying Portishead remix in the background as we walked!

Rehearsal, I choose to wear my mask here as well, the reason being that otherwise the cameras in the area might catch my horrid alibino'ness.

I should also admit that I'm only writing this post because I've been sick and stuck at home for three days (!!) and have to papers to write for my Uni. courses. As you probably know, I am a professional procrastinator! Off I fly, to once again check facebook, maybe tweet a little and clean EVERYTHING, before staring blankly at my computer screen where my assignments will glow in it's abjectly curricular way.

Hare Krishna

Siren

BEWARE: NUDITY

One of the most famous "super" models of the moment is without a doubt danish Freja Beha Erichsen, but she also holds a very special place in my heart because she has the exact same body-type as me. She pretty much looks like a boy, as do I. So if you ever wondered what I look like naked, here you are (although I think my breasts, at least the left one... might just be a little bigger). Just slap on a picture of my face on this body and you've got me. I wish I had her sence of cool tatoos though, shes got some wicked ones!








Sadly I don't remember what magazine this editorial is from but she, as all famous people has a website for more tatooed skinnyness.

Hare Krishna

Siren

Converse make-under!

Are you like me and have a compulsion to make your brand new Converse shoes look like they've been to a festival or two, but don't know how to magically grunge them down?

Well, fret no longer because some freaks at NylonTV have bestowed upon us confused converse'ians a tutorial that explains via video the magic of making your brand new shoes look lived in. Ahh, what would we do without the interweb?!



Cute huh?

Siren

I Blame Coco too

Just because sometimes broken SwEnglish is the best kind of English!

Finally fashion work!

I recieved an e-mail from Pholk yesterday and as you might know I thought, possibly, It could be the inevitable "none of the designers wanted you to walk for them in Oslo Fashion Week 2010" e-mail. Therefore I swallowed the green lump of anticipation in my through, put my expectations down as low as I could and reluctantly opened the potentially lethal e-mail.

Luckily,

It was a job! Wella Norway wanted to use my "modelling expertise" in their fashion show (I presume it is a hair-style dominated event) of the Mote med Mening 2010 fashion extravagance. I am both excited and nervous. They actually want to send a complete spazz like me onto a catwalk to show off their fashion genius. I feel an overwhelming pressure not to trip and fall on my face... I feel it miiiiight just take some of the attention away from the hair!



But, if they cant do it, how can I possibly? I only have two weeks to perfect my walk; the show is on the February 5th!

Chant with me: Sensible shoes in the show, sensible shoes, sensible shoes, sensible shoes!



Hare Krishna

IT'S MONKI-TIME

All you frolicking loonies out there with your ass ever more flattened by the chairs of Blindern and your eyes screaming for Kant to either leave you alone or help you understand his aesthetic gibberish; which some academic idiot thought had to be important enough to make us read OVER AND OVER AGAIN, until we know every word,but still understand nothing...

Throw your books away, this is no time for the pre-exam cold-sweats!

MONKI has opened in Bogstadveien and that is cause for shopping celebration, throw caution to the wind and whip out your mastercard; I'll see you there!

Hare Krishna

Siren

CheekyCheeky

Russh Magazine

Keep you hangover at bay with junkfood and sunday-cuddles, don't start questioning the mysterious bruising and have an ass'tastic Sunday!

Hare Krishna

ERIN WASSON x RVCA Spring 2010 runway show, Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week

People keep saying she blatantly copied some other designer, but if she did it she did it well!

That better be fake

Vogue Paris October 2009

I'm a bit preoccupied and therefore I have to post these less than interesting posts of random Kate Moss'ness. Of course my inner hipster love them, but I'll get back on the vernacular-ious writing of the past!

Hare Krishna

Villainy Wears Many Masks

I'll Let Tim Burton speak for himself with these incredible images for Harpers Bazar October 2009. If it was certain I would be dressed in these kinds of creations and be a part of recreating Burtons universe in image form I would gladly snort all the cocaine in Lily Allens handbag AND live the rest of my life gathering nourishment from a diet of coffee, air and cigarettes; as this is what my bruised brainbox expects of models!

Aah, preconceptions!

Hare krishna

Siren

I would wear this!

Cobrasnake

I wouldn't wear Alexa Chung... She might not be uncomfortable with that, but I would wear her bag!

I think I have a problem...

I have been forced to reorganize my attire, since (after living here about ten months) I went out and bought myself a ridiculous amount of sorely needed coat-hangers a few days ago. Because of that I have come to a realization: I have a problem...

We can start off in the excess, but not in mental illness, part of my clothing collection. As you can see I spent a lot of time and energy on finding the perfect clothes. The problem however, is that the perfect piece of clothing is an ever-changing idea; constantly changing behind my eye-balls. These divine ideas see no economy, Sundays, curriculum or appointments.

It leads to eight pairs of sunglasses, numerous bracelets, rings, vintage earrings, bandannas, scarves, necklaces, handbags and oddly intentional-looking piles of stuff on my bed (right).
And
last
but
not
least

It anguishes my core to write and therefore accept that this staircase of shoes is not even half the shoes I own... Hunger, poverty, violence, abuse and 23 pairs of shoes...

Hare Krishna

Siren

Indie Inspiration

(Erin Wasson via knightcat)

I love it! And now I'm off to buy other peoples castaways and nick-knacks in Birkelunden... Thrift'a-licious!

Douche'ing it up!

This is indisputably my blog and therefore I take this opportunity to blow my own horn. I had just had coffee and accompanied to the train a sexy farmlicious friend of mine when I decided to check out the home of Cheap Monday, Acne, Surface 2 Air etc. the shop Freudian Kicks and so I did. Once inside the shop I realized there was some kind of photo-shoot ending. I swallowed my curiosity, listened to my tunes and looked through the wonderfully expensive sexiness on the shelves.

As I perused a gorgeous man-cake kept smiling at me; I thought he might be the merchant and therefore I smiled and said "Hey" just as I realized he had an expencive looking camera over his sholder...
Photographer: "What do you do?"
Me: (Removing earplugs and looking confused) "Um...Sorry?"
Photographer: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a student."
Photographer: "Really? Your not in fashion?"
Me: "Um... No, just a student."
Photographer: "You should really be doing something in fashion; You have a beautiful... shape, and I think you could take some great pictures!"
Me: *Giggle* (red-faced and mumbling) "Really? Thank you!"
That's where I got uncomfortable and sweaty, and therefore smiled my best Good Bye smile and went on my way... But, he really made my day!

If I can't find a job soon maybe I should try this fashion thing. How one gets into fashion I don't know, but I think I could figure it out if I try. I would love to be able to make money from being tall, thin, weird looking and loosely limbed!


Hare Krishna

Siren

I want to go to there

Weekdays.se

Pixie for British Vogue

Yes, I spent the ridiculous amount of 109NOK on the superb September issue of British Vogue... If you didn't, it's your loss. Just marvel at little Pixie Geldof pumping some youthful androgyny into it. She's even drinking something with calories in one of the images (or, at least pretending to...).

Dr. Gaultier

Dr. Martens with Jean-Paul Gaultier CUTOUTS! I love them!!!!!! This is the special women's boot coming soon for Jean-Paul Gaultier stores in France... I'm going to have to go there and get them!

H&M Divided Exclusive fw09

Before you scuff, roll your eyes and mumble the undoubted fact that I'm obviously not a fashion blogger and this H&M Divided exclusive f/w 09 collection has been blogged, twitted, facebooked about since april/may, realize this: frankly I did not like the prospects of summer ever ending, especially not before it began, but now... Yes now, the fickle Norwegian weather forces me to pop out of my summer-bliss and realize that it will not last forever; therefore I take solace in this collection of awesome grungy-ness! You see, I want to dress like a cross between Captain Jack Sparrow, Lou Doillon, Mary-Kate Olsen, Karen O and Cassie from Skins and I think for once H&M can help me on that quest!

Hare Krishna

Siren

Festival check-list

I have a tendency to resemble a drowning rat at festivals wither the rain pores or the sun scorches, but not this time! I have devised a full proof plan to look, smell and dress gorgeously!

This Roskilde, so help me Jeebus I will not have anything rat-like about me; I will be festivalisious like insatiable Kate Moss at Glastonbury in 2005 Or Agyness Deyn at Coachella Valley Music ans Arts Festival Chloe Sevigny at Coachella Valley Music ans Arts Festival (Incidentally, my curiosity grows as to what this divine fashionista haven one finds in Coachella Valley is...)

And now for the checklist (I'm writing this from a internet cafè in Oslo as my laptop died in Bergen, I'm scared and alone without my computer end my sexy internet..)

Anyway

1. Travel toothbrush/paste kit: you can drop it in mud because its in a sexy little box.

2. Dry shampoo: Gives the illusion of clean hair.

3. Tent, sleeping bag, pillow, travel mattress thingy: for obvious reasons

4. Sanitary napkins: freshness is key

5. Raggedy old clothes: Fashionably raggety of course...

6. Rubber Wellington boots, Raincoat/pants: just in case of another flood year

7. SUNSCREEN

8. Hat, sunbrealla or other sun redusing contraptions

The rest is up to you!

The time on my computer is dancing lower than a hip-hop dancers bum-bum in a Lil' Wayne video and therefore I must leave you... Hope to see you all at Roskilde festival where I'll be from this monday and that means internet silence from today until July 6!

Hare Krishna

Siren

PS: RIP Michael Jackson; You were the man who made the first CD I ever bought all by myself as a little girl!